FAQs For The San Diego Comic Con

Published July 18, 2009 at 4:40 p.m.

Okay...Things are going to be a bit patchy here for the next seven days, due to work and travel...So no more Station Idents, I’m just going to post when I can.

FAQs for San Diego, then:

* PLANETARY #27 comes out in October, I’m told.

* FELL #10 is underway right now on this end, so don’t bug Ben...We’re on it...It’ll be a while before it’s ready.

* DESOLATION JONES remains in temporary limbo for various reasons...Wildstorm and I are working on it, is all you need to know.

* NEWUNIVERSAL remains on pause while Steve and I do an IRON MAN thing, and we’ll return to finish it once we’re done...Scheduling was the enemy — after the loss of the computer, there were only so many scripts and stories I could reconstitute simultaneously, and ASTONISHING X-MEN trumped it on the scheduling.

* Phil Jiminez just turned in his first ASTONISHING X-MEN issue...I love working with Phil.

* I arrive at San Diego a hair before midnight on Thursday and leave first thing Saturday morning...I’m there exclusive to the Marvel Anime zaibatsu, and my time is scheduled tightly all through Friday...I start at 9.30am, for god’s sake. I normally never even see 9.30am.

* My only public appearances there are:

* The Marvel Animation Panel, 4.30pm - 5.30pm...I think I don’t actually go on stage until 5.10.

* Signing at the Marvel booth, which is #2429, from 6pm to 7pm...There will probably be a limit on number of items to be signed, and if you turn up with a handtruck stacked full of comics I will have Security rape you with a Wolverine toy behind the booth.

* This is a weird one, but… a lot of people ask if they can bring me whisky...Which is incredibly kind and not at all required...If you bought a comic I wrote and liked it, then that’s really all I needed...And this time, in fact, it’s really not necessary, as I’m travelling very light and won’t be able to take it home with me...I feel weird even mentioning this.

* And, yes, I will shake hands with you...The reason I don’t shake hands at other shows is that I’m signing for six or seven hours a day, for a minimum of three days, and everyone sticks their hand out, and the lesson I learned at Heroes Con is that shaking hands with everyone who sticks their hand out means that by the end of the second day my hand is pulp...Poor old Steve Saffel shook hands with me when I was on my way out of the building after my second or third long signing and I yelped...I’m not a professional politician, I’m a writer, I already type for at least 12 hours a day, and I kind of need the hand...One hour at a signing table is a different thing...People get unusually stroppy about this...So I mention it now...And, really, if my not being able to shake hands with you at San Diego or Chicago really did ruin your week, enough for you to keep complaining about it online years later? You’re mentally ill...Seek help before you ruin the lives of your friends and families.

* Also? I am not scary...I mean, I am completely not scary...Do not approach in fear.

* These are, internet snark mongoloid reading this, NOT rules...It says FAQ at the top there.

* Also, I won’t have sex with you unless you pay me.

There...Done...Tom Spurgeon has a proper guide to surviving San Diego, a must-read.

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